#fadybouaz

#fadybouaz

Why O my God 

What I can do, what I cannot do

I can't undo, quit, or give up

I can die because I can't be defeated

If the needs of my body are a prison for my soul, then my death is its freedom, so that it may soar in the sky of freedom and return free to its Creator, of whom it is a part, for that it is immortal like Him, while the body is mortal

I have been lonely for so long, alone in the difficulties of time, everyone has abandoned me, everyone has betrayed me, even God, whom I have worshiped and obeyed all my life, in the agony of my ordeal, alone without any help from Him Almighty or anyone else, I prayed a lot to Him asking Him to help me, and He heard my prayers but He ignored me, and I am now before a one final decision to end my life, and I repeatedly asked him to kill me as a mercy from Him to me, but He refused, and now, unfortunately, I have no choice but to do it by myself, and that is His will and not what I want

And after I die, I will go to Him and tell Him that You are a traitor, You abandoned me like everyone I've known in my life has done, I hope that You will be able to forgive Yourself because of Your betrayal to me and Your sins against me, through Your brutal and unjustified torturing to me, all my life in which I trusted You and obeyed You

As for me, I would die proud of myself, because I chose death over betraying God, my goodness, and the trust of others in me, I didn't play devilish games in order to live a good life, I lived my whole life and I died obedient to You, God, but You betrayed me and abandoned me and forced me to make the decision to end my very miserable life, why O my God

Fady Bouaz

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Monday 27 /12 /2021